A mother who doesn’t love her daughter,” is a phrase that might sound sharp to anyone. It seems like this situation might occur only in a dysfunctional family where the parents can hardly make ends meet and can only solve their problems with the help of alcohol. I had quite a good childhood: full family, good school, and no alcohol till 18. But I was sure that my mother didn’t love me. We who were supposed to be the closest people to each other were conversely unbearably distanced. I wanted to be beautiful, but my mother would say, “It doesn’t suit you.” I would try my best but she would say, “You can do it better.”
Today I want to share the story of my childhood with smartzune.com readers and show you how ordinary adult actions are perceived by kids. As well as where a kid can get the feeling of being unloved and lonely from.
First, do your homework, then you can play outside.
My mother used to say: “I’m worried about your future.”
While I wanted to enjoy the present moment at the time. My mother was dreaming about her daughter becoming an economist, that’s why while my friends were playing outside or watching TV, I was sitting at my table together with my thick math book. It was extremely hard to concentrate on solving equations because the kids outside were playing tag and my favorite shows were on TV. I was trying to explain that numbers are not my cup of tea, but my parents didn’t hear me. After graduation, I enrolled in college to study to become a translator.
My mother used to say: “You need to take care of your appearance.”
I always heard about my imperfections: crooked teeth (“Don’t smile so widely!”), extra fat on hips (“Aren’t you feeling shameful? You are so young!”), bad posture (“Stay straight!”). While I was growing up, it took me some time to realize that when people gave me compliments, they weren’t necessarily lies or them scoffing at me. I married the first guy who paid attention to me. At that moment, marriage meant success to me because I had met a person who didn’t notice my imperfections and even said, “You are beautiful” from time to time.