At the risk of sounding reductive, there is really only one reason to get married — you’ve found a person you love and you want to spend the rest of your life together. If your reason for getting married is any other reason — like, say, appeasing your family because they have certain expectations of you, or because you’re trying to secure your finances, or because you need a green card, like, this week — you might want to call off the ceremony.
But while there are obviously good and bad reasons to get married, there are also weird reasons — the kind of reasons that will make every last guest at your reception scratch their heads and go “huh?”
Twitter is here to list those weird reasons, all filed under the hashtag #WeirdReasonsToGetMarried. Truly, some people are getting hitched for reasons beyond our comprehension, so the best we can do is just sit back and laugh.
I don’t doubt there was an episode of the 1960s Batman show that saw some kind of super-witch cast a spell on Robin that could only be broken by Batman marrying said super-witch. I do, however, doubt that the marriage would last.
Furthermore, the only way you get to ride in a limo is a) when you get married, b) after you make 20 million dollars, and c) if your class sells the most magazines in the school magazine drive and you get a pizza party at Circus Pizza. And that’s it!
Haha, imagine feeling so trapped by the person you love you think prison would be better! That is… that is… well, it makes me very sad.
The thing about Contra is that it’s very hard even in two-player, let alone when you’re trying to out-shoot all those aliens on you own. I can definitely see getting married for this reason.
Hopping into a fresh, slightly cold bed just makes me feel like my sheets are fresh and clean. But hey man, if you like warm beds enough to promise yourself to someone for the rest of your life, I’m happy for you.
