My Husband and I Have Been Sleeping Separately for 7 Years, and Now We’re Happier

My husband and I have been living together for 8 years, and for 7 of them, we’ve been sleeping in different bedrooms. No, it is not because we argue a lot or because of children (we don’t have children), but just because we like it this way. It seems like it’s not a big deal, right? You sleep in different bedrooms or don’t go on vacations together — who cares? The most important thing is to be happy. But in fact, when you set your own rules in your marriage, you might encounter stereotypes that might make you think you’re doing it all wrong.

Especially for  smartzune.com  I’ve decided to talk about why we prefer to sleep this way, what advantages it gives us, and I will also share the reactions of our friends and relatives.

How it all started

Once, I woke up in bed alone. And I was totally sure that I had gone to bed with my boyfriend. When I snuck into the adjacent room, I found him sleeping peacefully on the couch. I thought, “Okay, I’ll deal with this in the morning.”

During breakfast the next day, we had this kind of a talk:

— I lost you last night, why did you go to the other room?

— You know, I couldn’t fall asleep. You were twisting and turning and breathing loudly and I woke up every time you moved.

— Hmm, okay. I never knew I breathed loudly.

My Husband and I Have Been Sleeping Separately for 7 Years, and Now We’re Happier

The same thing happened the next night. We fell asleep together and we woke up separately. So, I realized that we had to talk about it.

In the conversation, we realized that it was hard for us to sleep together. My boyfriend remembered all our arguments that happened because he hadn’t slept enough: he snored, I woke him up, he didn’t have enough sleep, and he was irritated. Sometimes, I snored, he woke me up, and then I was unable to fall back asleep. Often, one of us would wake up because it was hot or because the other one got up to drink some water, and once I had a weird dream and I poked my boyfriend right in the eye.