I Am Ready to Honestly Tell You What a Woman at 30, Without a Career, a Husband, and Kids, Feels Like

Hi! My name is Lidia and I started to feel old at the age of 30. Most people think that 30 is a big age for a woman. It’s the age when she should already have a husband and kids. Or at least a successful career. Moreover, they say that health after 30 is not sufficient to live your life to the fullest. And that’s just not true. One can enjoy themselves and their position in life at any age.

Today I want to tell smartzune.com  readers the story of my 30th birthday and how I managed to overcome the rules imposed by society.

On my birthday-eve

I remember when I attended a special event — and met a famous psychologist. I was the oldest among the visitors. And later I felt like I was the oldest at the concerts I attended or in the courses I took in my spare time. Generally speaking, I started to feel pretty sad on the eve of my 30th birthday. Well, sad is not the right word perhaps — I was crying for 3 days prior to my birthday and 2 weeks after it. I was crying because I believed that this was the end — I hadn’t had children yet, I hadn’t gotten married, I hadn’t built up my career, I couldn’t do anything, while the “female biological clock” was ticking. I didn’t celebrate my 30th birthday — I was too busy crying over my youth that had left me.

I Am Ready to Honestly Tell You What a Woman at 30, Without a Career, a Husband, and Kids, Feels Like

All my friends already had husbands and/or kids. Each of them would ask me, “When is it your turn?” or “Isn’t he popping the question?” and tell me that my biological clock was still ticking. And every other one would say, like they were boasting, that “there is nothing to do in the marriage — enjoy your freedom.” This constant reminder that I wasn’t married seemed weird to me.

Many people I knew had also managed to build their career even before the age of 30. They opened their own business, one that they liked and I was gladly watching their success. But I often caught myself thinking, “Why can’t I do the same thing?” However, I didn’t even try. I used to look at all the new start-ups, get angry with myself, and I couldn’t understand, “Who am I going to be when I grow up” when pension is just around the corner?