Funny Inspirational Quotes


Giving an inspiring message to someone or to a group of people doesn’t have to be too serious. Sometimes, a good laugh leaves a more meaningful impact on anyone who hears your inspirational message. You can still motivate someone by being funny especially if they’re the kind of person who, just like you, enjoys funny conversations too. There’s nothing wrong with preparing for your future with a little humor because after all, life is too short to be too uptight. When you develop a sense of humor, you will know how to deal with life the easier way and will be able to inspire other people as well. We’re not saying that you should take your plans for granted; what we’re saying is you can still succeed in life even if you loosen up a little.

Whenever we experience setbacks and slip-ups, punishing ourselves and being miserable about it will not get us anywhere. But if we take on those obstacles with a little humor, it won’t feel as bad anymore and we’ll find a way to be better instead.

If you are here looking for funny inspirational quotes then that’s exactly what we’re giving you! We hope this long list of quotes leaves a beautiful smile on your face as well as inspire you and the people around you.


1. ‘Why the fuck not me?’ should be your motto. – Mindy Kaling

2. If you cannot repair the brakes on your car, make your horn louder. – Steven Wright

3. If at first, you don’t succeed, think how many people you’ve made happy. – H. Duane Black

4. Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself. – Sara Henderson

5. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

6. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. – Woody Allen

7. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx

8. A smile confuses an approaching frown.

9. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead. – Bill Mcglashen

10. A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gordy

11. You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. – Franklin P. Jones

12. Where there’s a will, there’s a way; and where there’s a way, there’s usually a stop sign somewhere along the road.

13. Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn’t even on. – Amy Poehler

14. Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most importantly, laugh at yourself. – Chelsea Handler

15. Look up for inspiration, look down for concentration, but don’t look side to side for information.

16. I’m here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance. – Wanda Sykes

17. Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles M. Schulz

18. Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it. – Brian Vaszily

19. You can only really learn from failure, to win you need to fail, and fail hard. – Aisha Tyler

20. Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. – Jackson Brown, Jr.

21. I think the difference between being miserable and finding happiness is just a matter of perspective. If you live your life defining yourself by what other people think of you, it’s a form of self-torture. – Sarah Silverman

22. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. – George Carlin

23. Don’t become something just because someone else wants you to, or because it’s easy; you won’t be happy. You have to do what you really, really, really, really want to do, even if it scares the shit out of you. – Kristen Wiig

24. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off. – Ellen DeGeneres

25. Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you’ll have more beads than you know what to do with. – Ellen DeGeneres

26. Never think about the mistakes you’ve made. Think about the mistakes you will make.

27. Be easy on yourself. Have fun. Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who doesn’t make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better. – Amy Poehler

28. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. – Steven Wright

29. Do it under the Influence of yourself. That’s what we’re shooting for. Get drunk and make your dreams come true. – Aziz Ansari

30. Whenever you leave behind failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb. – Louis C.K.

31. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. – Steven Wright

32. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

33. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain

34. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw

35. I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen

36. Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well, I have others. – Groucho Marx

37. A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road. – Henry Ward Beecher

38. When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened. – Winston Churchill

39. Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts.

40. What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. – Ralph Waldo Emerson


41. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

42. People may hate you for being different and not living by society’s standards, but deep down they wish they had the courage to do the same. – Kevin Hart

43. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

44. You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it. – Robin Williams

45. Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing. – Alexander Woollcott

46. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. – Margaret Mead

47. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie

funny inspirational quotes

48. You just be honest about who you are, and if you don’t end up with any friends, then good for you. – Chelsea Handler

49. You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the water slide overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. Tina Fey


50. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. – David Rosam

51. The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill. – W. Clement Stone

52. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. – Ahmad

53. The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived. – Oscar Wilde

54. I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation. – George Bernard Shaw

55. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. – Jules Renard

56. Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong? – Jane Austen

57. A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.
– George Bernard Shaw

58. To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. – Gustave Flaubert

59. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable. – Oscar Wilde

60. Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. – Thomas Statz

61. If nobody spoke unless they had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech. – W. Somerset Maugham

62. The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about. – Oscar Wilde

63. Do you know what a pessimist is? A man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself and hates them for it. – George Bernard Shaw

64. A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. – Robert Frost

65. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns


66. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. – Oscar Wilde

67. Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. – George Bernard Shaw

68. In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

69. Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss, or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it. – Tina Fey

70. Here is how you know if your mission on Earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t. – Richard Bach71. Be so good they can’t ignore you. – Steve Martin

72. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. – John Ray

73. If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them. – Will Rogers

74. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

75. Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. – George Bernard Shaw

76. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

77. What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. – Oscar Wilde

78. The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. – George Bernard Shaw

79. I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. – Jane Austen

80. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. – Euripides

81. My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. – Errol Flynn

82. Marriage is a great institution; but I am not ready for an institution yet. – Mae West

83. If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you. – Oscar Wilde

84. It is a truth universally acknowledged that, a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. – Jane Austen

85. Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. – George Bernard Shaw

86. In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost

87. There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up. – Oscar Wilde

88. There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened. –  Mark Twain

89. Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet. – Roger Miller

90. The greatest thief this world ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. – Henry Wheeler Shaw

91. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain

92. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

93. Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions. – Woody Allen

94. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. – Douglas Adams

95. Always get married in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. – Mickey Rooney

96. Don’t be humble; you’re not that great. – Golda Meir

97. When I meet a man I ask myself ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend the weekends with?’ – Rita Rudner

98. The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. – Doug Larson

99. Change is not a four-letter word, but often your reaction to it is. – Jeffrey Gitomer

100. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -Thomas Edison

101. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carlin

102. You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. – Jack London

103. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
-Albert Einstein

104. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.

105. Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell. – Bill Copeland

106. Life is like a sewer, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. – Tom Lehrer

107. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. -Truman Capote

108. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. – Dalai Lama

109. When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ – Sydney Harris

110. Some people develop a wishbone where their backbone should be.

111. There are three types of men; those who learn by reading, those who learn by watching, and those who pee on the electric fence.

112. In life, there’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

113. Before you criticize anyone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

114. Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. – Helen Rowland

115. Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. – Pablo Picasso

116. If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. – Steve Maraboli

117. It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow. There would be no rainbows without sunshine and rain. – Roy T. Bennett

118. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. – Marilyn Monroe

119. Goal setting is similar to traveling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address. – Thomas Abreu

120. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

121. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. – Ron White

122. The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground. – James Jason

123. When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. – John Lennon

124. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin

125. Well-behaved women seldom make history. – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

126. There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. – Roger Staubach

127. If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. – Marie Osmond

128. If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big. – Tom Hirshfield

129. There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. – Bill Watterson

130. If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. – Frank Zappa

131. If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

132. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

133. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. – Voltaire

134. I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. – Benjamin Franklin

135. Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’till it gets there. – Josh Billings

136. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. – Cathy Guisewite

137. Good things come to those who wait. Greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.

138. The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher the inspiration his life will be.

139. Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles Schulz

140. Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times. – Napoleon Hill

141. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost

142. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. – Dave Barry

143. Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost. – Martina Navratilova

144. If you fall, I’ll always be there. – The Floor

145. Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope? – Naruto Uzumaki

146. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright

147. No great man ever complains of wanting opportunities. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

148. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky

149. Without inspiration, the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. – Johann Gottfried Von Herder

150. Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need. – Voltaire

151. Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot. Make it hot by striking. – William Butler Yeats

152. Hope for the best. Pray in case of the worst. – Benjamin Disraeli

153. You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it. – Albert Einstein.

154. If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished? – Rumi

155. The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. – Chinese proverb

156. Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right. – Henry Ford

157. I tried. I failed. I tried again. I failed again, but I failed better. – Samuel Beckett

158. The trick to getting what you want is knowing what you can get.

159. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. – Neale Donald Walsch

160. Instead of thinking what could go wrong, think of what could go right.

161. May the bridges you burned light your way. – Dylan McKay

162. The longer you wait for the future, the shorter it will be. – Loesje

163. I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

164. I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly a list of beautiful quotations from minds profound, if I can only remember any of the damn things. – Dorothy Parker

165. I’m against a homogenized society, because I want the cream to rise. – Robert Frost

166. There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything and people who know absolutely nothing. – Oscar Wilde

167. Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
– George Bernard Shaw

168. The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat. – Lily Tomlin

169. What’s the use of a good quotation if you can’t change it? – Doctor Who

170. Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. – Albert Schweitzer

171. I can resist anything but temptation. – Oscar Wilde

172. To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

173. If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. – Steven Wright

174. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. – Mark Twain

175. If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. – Yogi Berra

176. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous. – Robert Benchley

177. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent. – Langston Coleman

178. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time. – Joe Girard

179. Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese. – Billie Burke

180. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. – Maureen Dowd

181. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

182. I cannot afford to waste my time making money. – Louis Agassiz

183. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. – Albert Einstein

184. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.  – Oscar Wilde

185. When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best, that is inspiration. – Robert Bresson

186. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. – Mae West

187. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. – Sam Levenson


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